dysemevas

Richard Prince: Jokes & Cartoons...

"A beggar walked up to me in the street and said, 'I haven't had food in so long I've forgotten what it tastes like.' I said, 'don't worry, it still tastes the same.'"

"Why did Jesus cross the road? Because he was nailed to the chicken."

"I'm writing a new book that's gonna have a field all to itself. It's for people who want to be unpopular, unsuccessful and fat."

"When i was five my father told me never to talk to strangers. We haven't spoken since."

"A guy gets a phone call from his doctor, who says, 'I've got bad news and worse news. The bad news is you've got 24 hours to live.' 'Good god!' says the guy, 'what's the worse news?; the doctor says, 'I've been calling you since yesterday.'"

"I don't like to brag but I've got good looking kids. Thank god my wife cheated on me."

"I grew up to have my father's looks, my father's speech patterns, my father's posture, my father's opinions, and my mother's contempt for my father."

"My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap. He was in the electric chair."

fifteen minutes...

its cliche to say that i wish there were more hours in the day.  actually, what this means is that i am on a roll.   I can think of plenty of times when i have wished that time would just pass and when it has been an effort to do just about anything...

I am so excited: I recieved "The Complete Fairy Tales" by Oscar Wilde in the mail today.  Over the weekend i read "The Educated Imagination" and "Eccentric Glamour."  I know-- totally different.  I  loved both actually...  As a proponent of critical thinking AND imagination, the Educated Imagination was fantastic as it resonated with many of my thoughts and clarified them.   And it showed how they work TOGETHER in the writing and studying of literature... Also love the way literature is explained from the beginning of time and then "justified"... I refuse to say more as i believe arguments that are well written should be read.  Simon Doonan's "eccentric glamour" i picked up because of the pink jacket.  Whimsical, fun, random-- much better than reaching for the latest copy of Vogue.  Is it a classic?  Of course not.  But, especially in a culture obsessed with glamour and thinness and shopping is it a fun break?  Sure.  And finally, nothing makes a woman feel better about herself than a campy gay man, right?

Actually, strangely enough i was reading the book on the boat with my cousin and her 14-year old friends.  ALL OF THEM WORE BOARD SHORTS DOWN TO THEIR KNEES OVER THEIR SWIMSUITS.  ALL OF THEM.  And they were all girls (well, except for one random boy).  I always tell my aunt (and the rest of my family) that they cannot say ANYTHING to my cousins about being chubby.  Even if they are, and depending on the standards that you apply they might be or they might not be, there is already so much bloody pressure on girls to be thin that its impossible for anyone to feel comfortable in their own skin.  IMPOSSIBLE. 

15 minutes up for now... 

My latest addiction

It was just another night with a group of theoretical hipsters in the bedroom at Halo... Well it was originally a Corto Moltedo dinner but it ended up at Halo.  The girls were fawning over Giancarlo who had just flown in from Tokyo.  The guys were getting drunk(er) and fawning over the girls.  I was in a corner with the unassuming marketing manager for the brand, John, trying to make the most of the night.  In typical pseudo-intellectual fashion, my first question was "so, do you read?"  Amazingly he did.  And he actually shared a favourite book with me - Marquez's Love in the time of Cholera.  So the conversation went, with the occasional interruption from this wierd gay DJ or promoter dude who would come over and coo for the sake of being everyone's best friend...

John is a huge fan of "laugh out loud" books.  I ( again: dark, pseudo-philosophical, brooding by nature...) had never really bothered with this genre, having dabbled with it briefly when i was in high school (a time when now, upon reflection, I probably wasn't sophisticated enough to UNDERSTAND why these things are FUNNY) and being sort of confused as to the funness of it, put it aside in favour of genre's that I deemed to be more inspiring...  Anyways: so, deciding that this crazy random had good taste in clothes, art, and at least ONE book,   i took his advice and bought DRY by Augusten Burroughs.  And Naked by David Sedaris.  And, like all the books ever written by Dave Eggers...

Some people say that comedy is the only way to deal with the world today.  With all the famines, wars, natural disasters, social inequities, etc etc, deflecting through humour is our only tactic for survival.   For a long time though, for me at least, what was deemed comedic or funny was really adding fuel to the flames of the fact that we are coming end of the world as we like it.  Big Momma's House?  Excuse me?

But, what i discovered was that certain people have a flair for wit.  Oscar Wilde's of our times perhaps... Writers who can take life as we know it, hilight the absurdities, and be completely without remorse or anger or justifications or rationalizations...  Does it make me feel better about the world or more able to see the truth in situations?  Probably not.  But is comedy really a just a coping mechanism?  Not if you like to have fun...   

Everything I have Learned In My Life So Far...

Blogging is awesome because it gives me a place to say things that i otherwise would have to find someone to say to... 

About a year ago i read an article in Harper's on the decline of reading.  Other than the actually quite fascinating history of reading that it shed light upon, and the satisfaction that it gave me (yay: I read!), its main feat was leading me to an essay on the art of the aphorism.  the aphorism is the lingusitic answer to a painting.  Nietzsche said that people write badly because they write the whole process by which they came to a final thought (SOROS!!).  The aphorism, which Nietzsche was a master of, is the thought itself, or, both the hook and the bait.   What a thought - lets take out all the explaining, justifying, rationalizing ... make a powerful statement...

Am now reading Stefan Sagmeister's "Everything I have Learned In My Life So Far."  It's beautiful.  The intertwined process of writing, reading, and thinking was another cornerstone of the aphorism article.  Back in the day people would  have these notebooks where they would write, read, think, re-read, re-write, re-arrange...  I always wanted to read one of these as I wanted to be able to get inside the head of someone.  I always wanted to model my notebooks on them... Sagmeister returns to his list of things and recomposes them graphically and expounds upon them and shows how they came about and how they work...  While not in the model per-se, it comes pretty damn close and is probably a better version to live and play with... life, thinking, creativity, thoughtfulness, inspirations... the book is beautiful.  Reading it, i want to be him.

Of course I am rambling and doing exactly what i quoted as "bad" but whatever.  this is a blog.   

things i have learned so far in my life

Soros on Reflexivity...

The enlightenment ignores the manipulative function. The post-modern approach goes to the other extreme: By treating realiy as a collection of often conflicting narratives, it fails to give sufficient weight to the objective aspects of reality. The concept of reflexivity helps to identify what is missing from both..."

Sent via BlackBerry® from 3

Regionalism vs Unipolarism

Found the ideas on regionalism in Mark Leonard's book intriguing. The marketers were so smart though - had they called the book the death of unipolarism in the 21st century, which is basically the point of the book, it would have sold 4 copies. The weather is beyond bad today and i am seriously questioning coming back. the idea of a trade off between rain and pollution though is beyond absurd. When are we going to see $200 a barrel?? How big is a barrel anyways??? Love that some Indian airline is grounding obese air-stewardesses. Also love the new anti-energy drink--whatever happened to warm milk???
TIRED. Need sleep.